With all of the dating websites and apps out there, it
is easier than ever to meet other singles. And you can do it all from the
comfort of your couch and flannel pajamas. But all these options are causing
people to develop dating fatigue. Going on bad date, after bad date, after bad
date can leave you feeling jaded and hopeless about ever finding your perfect
partner. You can get caught up in an endless cycle:
You see someone's profile and you think they have a
lot of potential → You message them and set up a date → You get excited → You
go on the date only to discover that the person is nothing like what you
imagined from their profile → You politely endure the date while silently
cursing yourself for missing out on an opportunity for a Netflix binge → You
get back in your flannel pajamas and start browsing through profiles again →
You repeat step one.
Here's some dating tips to get you out of that cycle
and help you have a successful first date with that person you just met online:
·
Consider which dating site/app you met on: What site
you met the person on will set the tone for your first date. Did you meet on a
site that is geared toward people who want long-term relationships
(relationship site) or did you meet on a site that is geared toward people who are
looking for hook-ups (hook-up site)? You can tell which type of site/app it is
by what you were required to do to start a profile. If it was quick and easy to
start a profile (you didn't have to pay any money or you only had to answer a
few questions), then you're probably on a site for people looking for quick and
easy interactions. Take Tinder for instance. All you have to do is upload a
picture and fill out basic demographic information (gender, age, email
address), and you can start swiping. But it will be more difficult to create a
profile on a relationship site. Take eHarmony for instance. There are hundreds
of questions you are asked before starting an account, and you have to pay
money to maintain an active profile. People who put that much time and energy
into a profile are typically looking for a serious relationship. If you are
looking for a long-term relationship, then you want to focus your energy on
people who have profiles on a relationship site. This will ensure that you
don't waste time going on dates with people who are just looking for hook-ups.
Are you looking for a hook-up? No judgment. Things will be a lot easier for you
if you search for matches on hook-up sites.
·
Get to know the person before the date: When a first
date with an online match does not go well, it is usually because there is a
difference between what the person seemed like online and what the person is
actually like in-person. Sometimes this happens because the person's profile
was not completely honest. But even if the profile is accurate, we have a
tendency to fall into the idealization trap. This is when you have an initial
attraction to someone's profile, and then you convince yourself that the two of
you would make a great match. Since there's limited information on that
person's profile, you start filling in the blanks, and you eventually end up
with an idealized version of that person in your head. Then you actually have
an in-person meeting, and you become disappointed when you find out all the
ways that the real person is different from the person in your imagination. The
best way to avoid the idealization trap is by taking the time to get to know
the person before your first date. Research shows that the more communication
there is before the first date, the more likely it is to be a success (Sharabi
& Caughlin, 2017). Communication helps you get to know the other person, so
that you have realistic expectations of what that person will be like. Also,
the more two people know each other, the more likely they are to have
chemistry. And of course, you have a better chance of weeding out people you
aren't compatible with before going on dates.
·
Set up a short date: Do an activity that can be kept
brief, like getting coffee or ice cream. Then you can keep the date short if you're
not really feeling the person. Avoid long activities that can make you feel
trapped, like movies, plays, concerts, or dinner at fancy restaurants. This
step can save you a lot of time, energy, and money. And if you actually end up
enjoying your date, you can always extend it by going to a second location.
·
Review your date's profile: Let's be honest, you're
viewing at least 5 profiles a day and chatting with multiple different matches
at a time. By the time you reach that first in-person meeting, it can be hard
to remember what you liked so much about your date to begin with. Before you go
on your date, refresh your memory by reviewing his/her profile. Take note of
your date's interests and the things you have in common, and it will be easier
to keep the conversation going and build chemistry.
·
Keep an open mind: Many people are so focused on
finding potential flaws during a first date that they aren't able to truly get
to know the other person. You are both going to be nervous, so your date might
not make a great first impression, and you might not feel instant chemistry.
Like I mentioned in step 2, chemistry builds as you get to know someone, so
don't jump to conclusions too quickly.
Following these steps will keep you from developing
dating fatigue and will lead you to having more first date success. Happy
dating!
For more dating tips and information on dating and
relationship coaching, visit [http://loveinsanely.com] You can also get free,
personalized dating and relationship advice by posting a question at
[http://loveinsanely.com/free-relationship-advice]
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr._Rena_Isen/2581919
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